| Professor Haters Cypher | |
 | |
| Species | God |
| Occupation | Town Mayor, Sports Professor, King of Heaven |
| Age | Unknown |
| Place of Origin | Heaven |
| Relatives |
Rebekah All The Way (Daughter) Macwell Cypher (Brother) |
| First Appearance | The Chat |
| Last Appearance | The Banishment of Breeane |
| Status | Alive |
Professor Haters Cypher is an ancient bieng and the husband of Shae (The Girl) and the father of Rebekah All The Way. He is the older brother to Macwell Cypher and like him has no father or mother, an entity forged out of pure energy, but unlike Cypher he sees the good in people. He has been voted as town mayor and teaches sports at Wikia Falls High.